These are hard times indeed.
Who among us has not been comfortably settled into their third-sector job guaranteeing final salary pension and a lifetime’s internet browsing interrupted only by the occasional lecture or playing Latin phrase bingo during exam boards, only to be unsettled by the arrival of New Management? Not only that, but New Management who once Swept the Floor of His Father’s Grocery Shop, and now speaks of being a New Broom that will Sweep Aside the Dead Wood?
Who among us has not had the teensiest suspicion that what the New Broom really means by Dead Wood is, not to put too fine a point on it, oneself?
And who among us, Dear Reader, has not stared woodenly into the mirror of the downstairs toilets and thought longingly of the Road Not Taken, the path to Artistic Fulfilment (in my case: Creative Needlework; in yours, dear Reader – the world is your oyster! Or, as we all too rarely said of our students in exam boards: Orbis terrarum est vestri ostrea)?
I share your pain, dear Reader. I offer you this, the Aspiring Gold Digger’s Guide to Surviving (Voluntary) Redundancy.
Walk with me, dear, dear Reader. Let us trip lightly along the path to self-fulfilment together, looking the world firmly in the eye as we say –
‘Yes! I Am an Aspiring Gold Digger!’
(formerly Dr) Ada Lamb