Dear Reader,

It has been a trying week, dear, anonymous Reader, as I recover from the onslaughts of serial, poorly punctuated identity theft.

But now that I have changed my password to Ada1 I feel relief, and an overwhelming urge to lie on my chaise longue and rest my eyes.

But before I do so I must just say a quick word about the Advanced Household Debris Processing and Disposal Unit Mark II.

As you know, dear Reader, I am dedicated to making the world a better place for our children and our children’s children. The Advanced Household Debris Processing and Disposal Unit Mark II meets all my needs and more! My workspace was a mess, filled with bloody footprints, viscera, ash, acids, and a number of stubborn spatter patterns! But now with the help of the Advanced Household Debris Processing and Disposal Unitmy floors, walls and even ceilings are spotless!

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No money has changed hands in the making of this advertorial.

Guest post sponsored by the Advanced Institute for Forensic Cleansing.

Terms and conditions apply. Free delivery in the UK and EU.

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Occasionally, dear Reader, you may see some advertisements below.

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9 thoughts on “Ada in Adland

  1. How soon can you rush me three of the Mark II, dear Ada? Money is no object. My own old Mark ! is acting up badly these days – the online troubleshooting guide tells me it is a filter error, and, as one who has been cursed since early childhood with filter errors, I know when I am beaten.

    1. But of course, my dear. My companion is wrapping them in industrial-grade bubble wrap, after testing all the internal and external filters thoroughly. Blow through them as hard as you can, I said to her. It is good for your asthma. And how reassuring to hear about the money, which I assume is winging its way to my account as I write?

  2. The wretches! Despite our, shall I say, uneasy relationship of late, I do sympathise. As it happens I may well have need of a Mark II Exterminate. If I just say ‘BT upgrade to Infinity’ and the appalling unforeseen consequences that it has brought, you may have an inkling of my mental anguish.

    LW xxx

    1. This is but the latest in a series of crude, unlettered forgeries to have been slipped under my door in recent nights, dear Reader. I have decided to let this one through my internet fiefdom’s ring of steel just this once, so that we can all learn a valuable lesson.

      Regard, dear Reader, the dullness of thought! the convoluted syntax! the great, loopy ‘LW xxx’ that the author has unthinkingly placed at the end of her missive! I have referred this to my colleagues in the School of Graphology and Corpus Linguistics for further analysis.

      In the meantime, dear Reader, I draw your attention to the relevant statute in the University Handbook (p. 23, para 9c.) ‘All cases of plagiarism, forgery, hoaxing, counterfeiting, and all other forms of fakery will be awarded a mark of zero, with no right of appeal’.

      Yours, in sorrow more than anger,
      Ada

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